Parents: Don't Sell Your Kids for Your Unfulfilled Dreams

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I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker the other day. He was displeased with his father because he is pushing him to grab other jobs that offer a higher salary. But then again he had to reject those because he is happy with his job.  Who wouldn't be content with this kind of job anyway? We work at home, don't need to pay rent and the fun part is can keep ourselves alive for a week with just 100 pesos in our pocket (true story). I had some offer also in the past that I rejected because I am not interested or not ready or I can just plainly say I am happy and content doing what I love to do and earning a good amount out of it. 

But something within our culture or society (malay ko kung anong tamang termilogy) that is bugging me. As a kid who was raised in a poor family, I grew tired hearing these lines from my folks, “Mag aral ng mabuti ng maiahon mo kami sa hirap, Ikaw lang ang pag asa namin, kailangang yumaman ka!”. Isn’t it funny when you hear these things when you are young you start to feel like you're bound to be the next millionaire. Then you bought a gold mine, get all the gold there, melt them and immerse these people in gold. There is nothing wrong with parents having ambitions for their kids. But forgive me about this, sometimes I think most parents especially those who never had that much material blessings in their lives thought of their kids as financial investments. It is very common for a Filipino household to brand people who makes a lot of money as “successful”. Then when their kids grow up and started to have jobs, these parents wished theirs have higher salary or would go abroad just like what their friends’ and relatives’ children would do.

Parenting is “stewardship”. God has entrusted the parents their kids to raise, influence and nourish them with love. Children are not to be compared to others but to be treated as unique individuals crafted by God. Yes, this an accepted fact to accept but I know people will react when I tell everyone that it is unfair to pressure a child just because of other people’s frustration. I know most of us heard at least one of these lines from our parents or our “mababait na kamag anak”.

• “nasa abroad yung anak ni _____ 50 thousand daw ang sweldo. Bakit hindi ka mag-abroad?”
• “2 taon ka na sa company mo ganyan pa rin ang sahod mo si _____ nga ganito sahod may bagong ipad pa.”
• “hindi ka aasenso sa trabaho mo!”

These kind of people should just stop selling their love ones for their broken dreams or comparison woes. Especially if you are a parent or someone whose influence to another person is great. I think life is much happier and clutter free if we just tell and encourage other people to do what they love to do. We need to make money, yes that is a fact. But wouldn’t it be great if we just do what we passionately do and make some money along the way? Or we can just do some boring work then put a portion of our precious time into doing what we want to do. Wouldn’t it be fun right? Parents?