Out of My Comfort Zone - Part 1

Note: Hindi po yan tambakan, desk ko yan ^^

I barely have 2 months left in my practicum, all these work and “side-jobs”, not to mention those rush requests from the people here at work, really stressed me out. But I’m used to it; so used to it my body felt nostalgic of those online games addiction days I used to have.

How did ended up here you say?

Back in February I was offered by a global printing solution firm to have my practicum in their Cebu based research facility. The position was challenging and it was the first time the department where I would suppose to be assigned to have that kind of guy handling that kind of work. Oh I forgot to tell you the position they offered to me was to be the graphic designer of the HR department and website admin of their careers site.

Quite exciting huh? I was flattered when I was given this kind of offer. Let’s face it; why would they bother getting an over age college student from a back-wood place. Probably it’s “boygie day” back then; the stars according to my zodiac sign has aligned and created a fortune for me (like I believe those kind of crap, *tounge in cheek); yeah not even those self proclaimed I.T expert saying they can rig the automated elected can ever redone.

But hey this might be what that song of Greenday says; “Nice guys finish lasts”.

"Wag mong ikahon ang Dyos. Hindi lang yan ang kaya nyang gawin sa buhay mo."

Moving Along (The AMG SHTCI Experience)

It was quite mind-numbing staying here inside this school, to be honest I’d rather count flies than be in this “prison”. My companions are the only one who fuels my will to stay here. These guys are like me, they are here because they want to study or they have no choice because their parents forced them to stay. Well I wasn’t forced that’s for sure but I have no choice (I’m not getting any younger so I might as well finish college).

There are times when we hold the Sunday Service and my mind was not on the message of the Pastor but what was happening outside the school. While everyone was singing worship songs, the hair on my whole body would rise (this is not me, this could not be happening). But then as the saying goes, “the only constant thing about tomorrow is change”. But after a few weeks I would sing with all of the audience every Sunday and I’m always looking forward on the gospel of the day. I don’t know what has gotten into me but I’m afraid to admit myself that something in me was changed.

Twisted logic, I now brand my old philosophy as that. I lived the majority of my life clinging on my simple cause; “live only for myself”. Who cares what happens to others, as long as I have what I want. I usually brand people who are close to God as hypocrites. I was bitter back then, as a boy who was raised by a single mom, I grew up alone and without the guidance of my father. He was abducted and unreasonably murdered when I was three. When I was in High School I would cut or leave classes not because of vices like drinking, but for the reason that I have to go out there to work so I can have some money for my schooling. I learned early on that life is hard and I found out that in order so survive I need to rely on myself. Maybe that’s the reason I came to lose my faith in God.

But then my stay here inside this institution taught me an important lesson; to walk by faith, don’t lean on your own understanding but trust in the Lord. At first I wasn’t really accepting that fact, mom usually says that (yeah after leaving me and my sister behind when she got married to that guy, she has the guts to say that in front of me) and I would turn my back on her every time she do. I gradually accepted the truth that I need to remove my bitterness inside me, and I soon forgiven mom and all the people whom I hated these past years.

I wasn’t really that bored as days goes by, I came to accept the truth about myself. Like a friend told me long time ago “there’s no such thing as coincidence”, everything was well – planned by God.

Up to know I’m still wondering about a lot of things in life, and I hope that my stay in this place would help me unravel the answers.

By the way... I'm not human..

How it Started ( The AMG SHTCI Experience)

It was back in February that my Uncle told me about a school that offers a scholarship for underprivileged youth( yah yah alam ko na hindi na youth ang 24 ^o^). Without hesitation I asked him where it is and how I could get there. I was so eager to earn a college degree, after hopping from one work to another I’m wary of how hard it was to get a stable and high-paying job.

I was surprised to hear the details about the school; students are not allowed to go home except for holidays, so meaning we would actually stay there for good. Courting and Cell phones are not allowed(bah who cares I can live without them). But what really surprised me was the fact that the school was run by Christians. The last info forced me to react. "What?!" Although he told me that it was a non-sectarian school, just thinking that I would actually pray and read the bible got into my nerves. I’m not really a religious person and I do admit back then my relationship with God was very cold. But I’ve decided to take the exam. I know I’ll pass but the question in my mind was; “Will I really take this scholarship seriously?”

After the exam the registrar called me, so I went into the room and sat in front of her, beside her was a beautiful lady in her later 20’s. They asked me a couple of questions and afterward they told me I’ll just receive a confirmation through text. I went home later that day with random thoughts on my mind. I’m not really thinking of going to that school. I just did it for me to have a safety blanket that would catch me if all my plans fail. Well I actually thought that I won’t really need to go there but things wont really go the way we planned them to be. And sometimes the least favored choice was the best one. To cut it short I went to that school, took up I.T and finally the questions I’ve been keeping most of my life were answered.