Parents: Don't Sell Your Kids for Your Unfulfilled Dreams

Image credit goes to withoutwax.tv

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker the other day. He was displeased with his father because he is pushing him to grab other jobs that offer a higher salary. But then again he had to reject those because he is happy with his job.  Who wouldn't be content with this kind of job anyway? We work at home, don't need to pay rent and the fun part is can keep ourselves alive for a week with just 100 pesos in our pocket (true story). I had some offer also in the past that I rejected because I am not interested or not ready or I can just plainly say I am happy and content doing what I love to do and earning a good amount out of it. 

But something within our culture or society (malay ko kung anong tamang termilogy) that is bugging me. As a kid who was raised in a poor family, I grew tired hearing these lines from my folks, “Mag aral ng mabuti ng maiahon mo kami sa hirap, Ikaw lang ang pag asa namin, kailangang yumaman ka!”. Isn’t it funny when you hear these things when you are young you start to feel like you're bound to be the next millionaire. Then you bought a gold mine, get all the gold there, melt them and immerse these people in gold. There is nothing wrong with parents having ambitions for their kids. But forgive me about this, sometimes I think most parents especially those who never had that much material blessings in their lives thought of their kids as financial investments. It is very common for a Filipino household to brand people who makes a lot of money as “successful”. Then when their kids grow up and started to have jobs, these parents wished theirs have higher salary or would go abroad just like what their friends’ and relatives’ children would do.

Parenting is “stewardship”. God has entrusted the parents their kids to raise, influence and nourish them with love. Children are not to be compared to others but to be treated as unique individuals crafted by God. Yes, this an accepted fact to accept but I know people will react when I tell everyone that it is unfair to pressure a child just because of other people’s frustration. I know most of us heard at least one of these lines from our parents or our “mababait na kamag anak”.

• “nasa abroad yung anak ni _____ 50 thousand daw ang sweldo. Bakit hindi ka mag-abroad?”
• “2 taon ka na sa company mo ganyan pa rin ang sahod mo si _____ nga ganito sahod may bagong ipad pa.”
• “hindi ka aasenso sa trabaho mo!”

These kind of people should just stop selling their love ones for their broken dreams or comparison woes. Especially if you are a parent or someone whose influence to another person is great. I think life is much happier and clutter free if we just tell and encourage other people to do what they love to do. We need to make money, yes that is a fact. But wouldn’t it be great if we just do what we passionately do and make some money along the way? Or we can just do some boring work then put a portion of our precious time into doing what we want to do. Wouldn’t it be fun right? Parents?

Push Start Button

 “Action precedes emotion.”
Aia de Leon of Imago


Have you ever felt not doing something because you are waiting for inspiration to strike you? Personally, writing this blog has been on my mind for months now but it was delayed for some reasons. See below:

1. I am afraid of typos and grammar errors. I feel I should write blog posts once I reach a pinnacle of expertise in writing (which will never happen, by the way).

2. I want my own site and I think when I have my own url then I will begin to write.

3. I am compiling some really good ideas which eventually escaped my mind afterwards.

4. I am waiting for inspiration to strike.

Now, thanks to two people whom I have heard these past few days that I decided to finally grab my pen and scribble down ideas for an article. And after a long hiatus I present you the first topic I wanted to share this 2013.

Why do we delay creativity? Or on much simpler thought, why do people procastinate doing things they love the most?

To me one of the major cause of people delaying doing things they love is FEAR. I remember when I was a kid on our art class. I was afraid to show my artwork to the class because I know there is someone in the group who is a lot better than me. My highschool days were not exempted. I love to sketch and I do not show my artwork to just anyone. Why? Because there is someone whose artwork I really admire and I am afraid that he’ll learn about my sketches. I think I share this kind of feeling to a lot of people. We are afraid great people who are expert in the craft we love the most might look down at us. That feeling of “you have not done a great job” to make your work at-par with that “great” someone.

Fear brought forth by comparison is a trap. Developing skills in our chosen craft takes time. I believe everyone is talented it is just that people do not take enough courage to take the first step and start workin on those talent(s). One should take comments and feedbacks as fuel for him/her to work even harder. Segregate the words that come out from people who review your work. There will always be people who loves to give you diabetes on their comments. There are some who will never find good things on what you are doing. These kind of people would often suggest that you try what other people are doing. They will never ran out of names (“bat di mo gayahin si ______ ang ganda ng gawa nya, nakita mo na ba yung gawa ni ____”). Don’t listen to the crap these people are saying including the other group of guys who sugarcoats what they say.

There will always be a better neighbor, one pastor said. And to me this statement is true. The only guy whom you should always compare to is nothing but yourself.

Stop procastinating. Stop comparing. Get to work! Who cares if you screw up today. There will always be room for improvement and people should always and constantly work on it. Make some beautiful mistakes.

So without much further delay. I am back online and I hope I can constantly put down my ideas into this tiny space.

Never mind my typo or grammar error. I will not change them (I am lazy). And my version of Microsoft Word doesn’t have a spell or grammar check (another excuse). Lucky me.

“Mas malakas kaysa kahapon”
Rock Lee

Kayanin ko pa ba?

I'm tired, though not entirely drained. But this job is taking a lot out of me. I felt like I really need a long break, probably a year or so. Sometimes I tried to ask myself "bakit ko pa ba pinaparusahan sarili ko?". But then again, every cold morning when I wake up I was reminded that my problem is just a mere complain of an overworked individual.


AM I HAPPY?

Of course I am, but I feel like I need to do something before its too late. I don't have the luxury of time like other young folks out there.

I need to grow. I'm getting too stagnant here.


Where should I go next?

A real hard and long thinking would do... hmmm

Out of My Comfort Zone - Part 3 (Decision)

10:00 PM

I’m a bit stressed; Ptr. Boy (our school chaplain) approached me while I was walking at the campus’ grounds and asked me what’s wrong. “You look sad”, he said. In a moody tone I replied, “I’m just tired pastor”. I probably needed some rest.

I’m really used to the stressful nature of my job, still got some projects pending (I have a large white board in my office and it’s full of notes). Yup I’m still here at the school; no longer a student but as a replacement of my good-old-friend (name is confidential).

A sudden shift of heart happened a few weeks before my OJT is about to end. After being cancelled on my OJT, I’ve decided to continue my ministry here as the Media Personnel. But lo; this time I’m going solo. No France, Ivy, Jessie, Macky and the other guys I used to work with that would help me out with my tasks. Not too long ago, I really want to get the crap out of this place, start a new life or probably a new career. But words are still stuck in my heart. Yes, I can get a nice job and eventually earn a lot of money but how about my soul? After accepting Christ in my life, my own definition of happiness has changed. It no longer mean having wads of cash, getting all material treasure this life has to offer or satisfying my flesh for some earthly pleasure. It means something more; seeking a purpose, having joy and sharing the joy you’ve found to others. Will I find it here in this job that I have? And no, it’s not just a job but rather a full time commitment. Someday I’ll die, my brain is going to rot with my body and it’ll come back to dust (or fertilize to the earth and my bones are going to be used as additive to the Bulalo you’ve always ordered =P) and my I’ll be joining Him that day. I just want to do something significant not for myself but for the savior who gave his life for me, something not worth bragging about but somewhat worth sharing to others.

So I’m here, bitter no more. I count my days as another adventure on how I can use the talents and skills He gave me to help other people and to glorify His name here on earth.

Out of My Comfort Zone - Part 2 (Akala mo happy ending? Manigas ka! :P)

Part1

When I get to Cebu… Ah sarap isipin nuh? I can start my career as a web designer and web developer, the name of the place where I’ll be having my practicum will adorn my beloved resume. Dami kong plano; naigawa ko na nga ng flow chart at na convert ko na sa gannt chart ang lahat. Pero gaya ng mga napapanood mong telenobela sa T.V.. Kung kelan nakangiti na ang bida at bitbit ang bag nya eh magbabago ang takbo ng istorya… Hindi twist tawag dun kasi parang routine na ng mga istorya dito sa pinas yan eh… At saka…. HINDI GWAPO ANG BIDA SA ISTORYA NA TO(hahahaha *evil laugh).

"I started out clean but I'm cheated."

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahan tong yugto na to.. Pero sabihin na lang natin na katulad ng pelikula ni Fernando Poe…. Ay teka ibahin natin…. Gaya ng episode ng Naruto(yan nakakarelate ka na siguro) eh walang shortcut sa paglakas at pag galing ng bida… Yun bang tipong dadaan muna sya sa maraming pagsubok; mag iigib ng tubig, pipila para bumili ng NFA rice, mag pepenitensya, kakain ng bubog, kukuha ng NBI clearance, papasok sa NSTP kasabay ng pagtugtog ng “Eye of the Tiger” sa background.

Isang araw pinatawag ako ng Guidance Counselor ng school (yup para bang ako yung tipong kabataang naliligaw ng landas na kailangang gabayan). “Arnaldo hindi ka para dun eh..” Hindi ko alam kung si Madam Auring ang nagsabi sakin nyan o baka bagong joke na na ginaya nila sa Bubble Gang. Mayabang daw ako sabi ng mga nasa faculty at magiging problema daw ako sa company pag pinawalan ng maaga. “Sa ngayon under observation ka pa”(ngayon pasyente naman ako), hindi ko alam kung ano trip ng pamunuan nun bakit ako kailangang I-hold….

So sa madaling salita, my trip to Cebu was cancelled… For good? I don’t know… Hindi ko sila maintindihan sa totoo lang… I’ve been working my butt for hours every day just to fill the spot Jared has vacated and this is all I got? Nag aaral ka, tapos nag tatrabaho bilang Media Personel(ng libre), sasabihan kang mayabang dahil hindi ka daw marunong mag greet ng tao at dahil sa ubod ng yabang ang taong nauna sa posisyon mo. Ang saya, eto na siguro yung time ng buhay natin na kahit yung knock knock who’s there joke eh tatawanan natin.

I told myself I’ll find an ojt myself if these people won’t let me go to Cebu. Sinasabi ng mga tao sa paligid ko na umangal at ipaglaban ang karapatan ko. Pero I told them; “may proseso tayong sinusunod, igalang natin.”

Out of My Comfort Zone - Part 1

Note: Hindi po yan tambakan, desk ko yan ^^

I barely have 2 months left in my practicum, all these work and “side-jobs”, not to mention those rush requests from the people here at work, really stressed me out. But I’m used to it; so used to it my body felt nostalgic of those online games addiction days I used to have.

How did ended up here you say?

Back in February I was offered by a global printing solution firm to have my practicum in their Cebu based research facility. The position was challenging and it was the first time the department where I would suppose to be assigned to have that kind of guy handling that kind of work. Oh I forgot to tell you the position they offered to me was to be the graphic designer of the HR department and website admin of their careers site.

Quite exciting huh? I was flattered when I was given this kind of offer. Let’s face it; why would they bother getting an over age college student from a back-wood place. Probably it’s “boygie day” back then; the stars according to my zodiac sign has aligned and created a fortune for me (like I believe those kind of crap, *tounge in cheek); yeah not even those self proclaimed I.T expert saying they can rig the automated elected can ever redone.

But hey this might be what that song of Greenday says; “Nice guys finish lasts”.

"Wag mong ikahon ang Dyos. Hindi lang yan ang kaya nyang gawin sa buhay mo."

Medyo Magaan Na Nga

I've been reading Robert Fulghum's "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten". The author reminds me of Bob Ong, minus the unique Filipino humor. Sometimes it does help to read some books about the thoughts of others, especially when you think the world just stopped spinning because of some consequences for the choices you made(do I need a handkerchief? No thanks). I was 19 minutes late for my English class and my instructor just gave me a verbal spanking. She told me to look again at the student's manual, actually I was about to answer her; "well yeah I was late, parang di ka na nasanay". But thank God my sanity was present at that time, and it saved me from being thrown out of the room.

But back to the topic (by the way, I just found out that my instructor was 15 minutes late), listening (or reading) about the point of view of other people is healthy for the mind and soul. It gives you the space you needed to think and look back at the decisions you made in the past. Mr. Fulghum reminded me of the things I've been missing a lot lately. Reading his short essays made me feel good, "sane living" is what I wanted to call it. I'm a bit off track and good thing this book came by (PDF lang binasa ko wala akong pambili ng hard copy. 585php kasi sa National huhuhu).

It's quite handy to listen to other people's point-of-view, think of it as a helping hand when you're threading an uncharted place, a kind bystander when you're lost and couldn't find the Baliuag Transit Terminal in Cubao, a large neon sign that you saw when you are inside the MRT and it says "Ayala" then your wondering if Quezon Ave. station is close by.

You can never tell to yourself that you know it all and it would be suicidal to reject the knowledge of others. To cut it short, "wala kang mapapala kung nagmamarunong ka". Even at my age I still have a lot of lesson to learn.

Ok tama na drama, nagbawas lang ako ng bagahe (medyo magaan na sya). I'm pleading to those kind at heart to give me a hard copy of "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", tutal malapit na berday ko...

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”