Out of My Comfort Zone - Part 3 (Decision)

10:00 PM

I’m a bit stressed; Ptr. Boy (our school chaplain) approached me while I was walking at the campus’ grounds and asked me what’s wrong. “You look sad”, he said. In a moody tone I replied, “I’m just tired pastor”. I probably needed some rest.

I’m really used to the stressful nature of my job, still got some projects pending (I have a large white board in my office and it’s full of notes). Yup I’m still here at the school; no longer a student but as a replacement of my good-old-friend (name is confidential).

A sudden shift of heart happened a few weeks before my OJT is about to end. After being cancelled on my OJT, I’ve decided to continue my ministry here as the Media Personnel. But lo; this time I’m going solo. No France, Ivy, Jessie, Macky and the other guys I used to work with that would help me out with my tasks. Not too long ago, I really want to get the crap out of this place, start a new life or probably a new career. But words are still stuck in my heart. Yes, I can get a nice job and eventually earn a lot of money but how about my soul? After accepting Christ in my life, my own definition of happiness has changed. It no longer mean having wads of cash, getting all material treasure this life has to offer or satisfying my flesh for some earthly pleasure. It means something more; seeking a purpose, having joy and sharing the joy you’ve found to others. Will I find it here in this job that I have? And no, it’s not just a job but rather a full time commitment. Someday I’ll die, my brain is going to rot with my body and it’ll come back to dust (or fertilize to the earth and my bones are going to be used as additive to the Bulalo you’ve always ordered =P) and my I’ll be joining Him that day. I just want to do something significant not for myself but for the savior who gave his life for me, something not worth bragging about but somewhat worth sharing to others.

So I’m here, bitter no more. I count my days as another adventure on how I can use the talents and skills He gave me to help other people and to glorify His name here on earth.

Out of My Comfort Zone - Part 2 (Akala mo happy ending? Manigas ka! :P)

Part1

When I get to Cebu… Ah sarap isipin nuh? I can start my career as a web designer and web developer, the name of the place where I’ll be having my practicum will adorn my beloved resume. Dami kong plano; naigawa ko na nga ng flow chart at na convert ko na sa gannt chart ang lahat. Pero gaya ng mga napapanood mong telenobela sa T.V.. Kung kelan nakangiti na ang bida at bitbit ang bag nya eh magbabago ang takbo ng istorya… Hindi twist tawag dun kasi parang routine na ng mga istorya dito sa pinas yan eh… At saka…. HINDI GWAPO ANG BIDA SA ISTORYA NA TO(hahahaha *evil laugh).

"I started out clean but I'm cheated."

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahan tong yugto na to.. Pero sabihin na lang natin na katulad ng pelikula ni Fernando Poe…. Ay teka ibahin natin…. Gaya ng episode ng Naruto(yan nakakarelate ka na siguro) eh walang shortcut sa paglakas at pag galing ng bida… Yun bang tipong dadaan muna sya sa maraming pagsubok; mag iigib ng tubig, pipila para bumili ng NFA rice, mag pepenitensya, kakain ng bubog, kukuha ng NBI clearance, papasok sa NSTP kasabay ng pagtugtog ng “Eye of the Tiger” sa background.

Isang araw pinatawag ako ng Guidance Counselor ng school (yup para bang ako yung tipong kabataang naliligaw ng landas na kailangang gabayan). “Arnaldo hindi ka para dun eh..” Hindi ko alam kung si Madam Auring ang nagsabi sakin nyan o baka bagong joke na na ginaya nila sa Bubble Gang. Mayabang daw ako sabi ng mga nasa faculty at magiging problema daw ako sa company pag pinawalan ng maaga. “Sa ngayon under observation ka pa”(ngayon pasyente naman ako), hindi ko alam kung ano trip ng pamunuan nun bakit ako kailangang I-hold….

So sa madaling salita, my trip to Cebu was cancelled… For good? I don’t know… Hindi ko sila maintindihan sa totoo lang… I’ve been working my butt for hours every day just to fill the spot Jared has vacated and this is all I got? Nag aaral ka, tapos nag tatrabaho bilang Media Personel(ng libre), sasabihan kang mayabang dahil hindi ka daw marunong mag greet ng tao at dahil sa ubod ng yabang ang taong nauna sa posisyon mo. Ang saya, eto na siguro yung time ng buhay natin na kahit yung knock knock who’s there joke eh tatawanan natin.

I told myself I’ll find an ojt myself if these people won’t let me go to Cebu. Sinasabi ng mga tao sa paligid ko na umangal at ipaglaban ang karapatan ko. Pero I told them; “may proseso tayong sinusunod, igalang natin.”

Out of My Comfort Zone - Part 1

Note: Hindi po yan tambakan, desk ko yan ^^

I barely have 2 months left in my practicum, all these work and “side-jobs”, not to mention those rush requests from the people here at work, really stressed me out. But I’m used to it; so used to it my body felt nostalgic of those online games addiction days I used to have.

How did ended up here you say?

Back in February I was offered by a global printing solution firm to have my practicum in their Cebu based research facility. The position was challenging and it was the first time the department where I would suppose to be assigned to have that kind of guy handling that kind of work. Oh I forgot to tell you the position they offered to me was to be the graphic designer of the HR department and website admin of their careers site.

Quite exciting huh? I was flattered when I was given this kind of offer. Let’s face it; why would they bother getting an over age college student from a back-wood place. Probably it’s “boygie day” back then; the stars according to my zodiac sign has aligned and created a fortune for me (like I believe those kind of crap, *tounge in cheek); yeah not even those self proclaimed I.T expert saying they can rig the automated elected can ever redone.

But hey this might be what that song of Greenday says; “Nice guys finish lasts”.

"Wag mong ikahon ang Dyos. Hindi lang yan ang kaya nyang gawin sa buhay mo."

Medyo Magaan Na Nga

I've been reading Robert Fulghum's "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten". The author reminds me of Bob Ong, minus the unique Filipino humor. Sometimes it does help to read some books about the thoughts of others, especially when you think the world just stopped spinning because of some consequences for the choices you made(do I need a handkerchief? No thanks). I was 19 minutes late for my English class and my instructor just gave me a verbal spanking. She told me to look again at the student's manual, actually I was about to answer her; "well yeah I was late, parang di ka na nasanay". But thank God my sanity was present at that time, and it saved me from being thrown out of the room.

But back to the topic (by the way, I just found out that my instructor was 15 minutes late), listening (or reading) about the point of view of other people is healthy for the mind and soul. It gives you the space you needed to think and look back at the decisions you made in the past. Mr. Fulghum reminded me of the things I've been missing a lot lately. Reading his short essays made me feel good, "sane living" is what I wanted to call it. I'm a bit off track and good thing this book came by (PDF lang binasa ko wala akong pambili ng hard copy. 585php kasi sa National huhuhu).

It's quite handy to listen to other people's point-of-view, think of it as a helping hand when you're threading an uncharted place, a kind bystander when you're lost and couldn't find the Baliuag Transit Terminal in Cubao, a large neon sign that you saw when you are inside the MRT and it says "Ayala" then your wondering if Quezon Ave. station is close by.

You can never tell to yourself that you know it all and it would be suicidal to reject the knowledge of others. To cut it short, "wala kang mapapala kung nagmamarunong ka". Even at my age I still have a lot of lesson to learn.

Ok tama na drama, nagbawas lang ako ng bagahe (medyo magaan na sya). I'm pleading to those kind at heart to give me a hard copy of "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", tutal malapit na berday ko...

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

May nahukay akong post sa lumang blag ko sa prenster..

1 week to go

Opportunity knocks but once…

Another chance to meet my goals. I couldn’t care less about the name of my school. As long as I’ll be able to finish my studies. So good luck to me. Lot’s of it………….

Boygie di ba pwedeng i-gameshark yang luck mo? Ewan ko ba bat ang malas malas mo..

- Aldrin

This was posted a week before I went to AMG SHTC..

Behind The Lens

Honestly, I was only looking forward to the food that would be served later on that day. But this event got me thinking and had me burned some calories in the long run. For the school, this could only mean another opportunity for their graduates. Sutherland on the other hand can expect a large pool of competent applicants coming from SHTC. Pero off topic yan, hindi yan ang iniisip ko nung mga oras na yun.. (laughs)

It's quite amusing, and funny if you would think about it, how other degree holders would look down at Call Center Agents. Their reason to this statement was; Call Center Agents are overpaid, lazy sloths, who does nothing but yap all day. One High - School friend contemplates that its quite unfair to them who spent four years in college and only earns a fraction of what an ordinary agents gets.

I know the irony on his part but I think there's some portion of unreleased egoism here. Maybe they could care less about this so-called pride when they have no money in their pocket or when they could barely shell some cash to pay for their everyday necessities. Or when they can't find a job that suits their oh- so-shiny four year diploma.

Whatever, it's not my problem anyway... Why bother...

Moving Along (The AMG SHTCI Experience)

It was quite mind-numbing staying here inside this school, to be honest I’d rather count flies than be in this “prison”. My companions are the only one who fuels my will to stay here. These guys are like me, they are here because they want to study or they have no choice because their parents forced them to stay. Well I wasn’t forced that’s for sure but I have no choice (I’m not getting any younger so I might as well finish college).

There are times when we hold the Sunday Service and my mind was not on the message of the Pastor but what was happening outside the school. While everyone was singing worship songs, the hair on my whole body would rise (this is not me, this could not be happening). But then as the saying goes, “the only constant thing about tomorrow is change”. But after a few weeks I would sing with all of the audience every Sunday and I’m always looking forward on the gospel of the day. I don’t know what has gotten into me but I’m afraid to admit myself that something in me was changed.

Twisted logic, I now brand my old philosophy as that. I lived the majority of my life clinging on my simple cause; “live only for myself”. Who cares what happens to others, as long as I have what I want. I usually brand people who are close to God as hypocrites. I was bitter back then, as a boy who was raised by a single mom, I grew up alone and without the guidance of my father. He was abducted and unreasonably murdered when I was three. When I was in High School I would cut or leave classes not because of vices like drinking, but for the reason that I have to go out there to work so I can have some money for my schooling. I learned early on that life is hard and I found out that in order so survive I need to rely on myself. Maybe that’s the reason I came to lose my faith in God.

But then my stay here inside this institution taught me an important lesson; to walk by faith, don’t lean on your own understanding but trust in the Lord. At first I wasn’t really accepting that fact, mom usually says that (yeah after leaving me and my sister behind when she got married to that guy, she has the guts to say that in front of me) and I would turn my back on her every time she do. I gradually accepted the truth that I need to remove my bitterness inside me, and I soon forgiven mom and all the people whom I hated these past years.

I wasn’t really that bored as days goes by, I came to accept the truth about myself. Like a friend told me long time ago “there’s no such thing as coincidence”, everything was well – planned by God.

Up to know I’m still wondering about a lot of things in life, and I hope that my stay in this place would help me unravel the answers.

By the way... I'm not human..